Don't Love Me!

I don't want you to love me
Not any more,
I don't want you to see me
Like I'm yours.

I don't want you to want me
In your life,
I dont want you to believe
That I belong with you.

I don't think I can handle
That look in your eyes,
I don't want you to know me
Better than myself.

Oh don't you see
You and me
Can't be together
Not forever

So please don't love me
oh please don't love me
It's just gonna make it difficult
To bid adieu....

All Over Again....

Sometimes...
I fall in love all over again
With your eyes,
Your crooked smile,
With you..
All over again...

Sometimes...
I wish i could turn back time
and turn it back again
So that i could rewind
And re- rewind
My time with you
And spend it
All over again

Sometimes...
I hope to see you again
And hear you again
and again
Till my eyes can see no more
And my ears can hear no more
and thereafter
Do it
All over again

Sometimes....
I pray
I most humbly pray
That my world would stop revolving around you
And yours would stop revolving around me
But then again
It happens
All over again...

The Unforgiven

We met yet again
and i could see it in your eyes
when they met mine
the hurt, the pain,
the sorrow, the accusations
i could see it in your eyes
when no one else could.

We met yet again
and i could hear
your heartbeat
and with every single beat
your love for me
i could feel it
when no one else could
that I'm the unforgiven
and.....
the unforgotten.

All Eyes on you

Hundreds of people
All prettier than most
But there you were
All eyes on you

Your handsome face
That crooked smile
Those intelligent eyes
Now linked to mine

Hundreds of people
All prettier than most
But there you were
Your eyes on me

All is Dust

Sometimes i still pretend that you are somewhere around me. It just gives me the strength to endure the cycle of mundane chores. Sometimes when the going gets tough....i hear those little words that you used to whisper in my ears to cheer me up. They still do, just like they did back then. Although, I'm not as efficient or as ambitious as i was back then. It's weird how everything that was so enticing once seems so meaningless now. I'm just an aimless wanderer now. A wanderer looking for a purpose to life. A vagabond, whom the world shuns and the average human, so engrossed in worldly pleasures, fails to fathom. Nothing matters as nothing is eternal. As the renowned  poet Percy Bysshe Shelley has rightly surmised:

"First our pleasures die - 

and then our hopes, and then our fears -

and when these are dead, 

the debt is due 

dust claims dust - and we die too.."

         

She dwells with Beauty – Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil’d Melancholy has her sovran shrine,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy’s grape against his palate fine;
His soul shall taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

                                                         - By: John Keats

Normans saw on English Oak,
On English neck a Norman yoke;
Norman spoon on English dish,
and England ruled as Normans wish;
Blithe world in England will never be more
Till England's rid of all the four

                                     - Sir Walter Scott (Ivanhoe,Ch.xxvii)

Raining cats and dogs...

             Yesterday was one of those days....those days in Mumbai......when the India Meteorological Department (IMD)predicts no rains..... and it rains heavily.  I don't blame them. I mean...really...Mumbai needs to be awarded for the most unpredictable climate........and for the most unpredictable people.

             Rains, of course, disrupted the already disrupted lives of "Mumbaikars" which increased the level of frustration in them. The roads turned into rivers  but sadly....we couldn't turn our cars into boats like batman. I was astounded....seeing the central railway working...i mean actually working. The trains were moving....and reaching to their predetermined destination. That moment...i started believing in the existence of God. 

             I was brave enough to get into one of the trains. I didn't really have an option...the roads were blocked. Everyone around me was drenched top to bottom but that didn't stop them from complaining when occasionally a few drops of water fell on them through the windows. Seriously....like that's gonna make any difference. People took out their frustrations on each other, yelling constantly.  On every station hoards of people got into the train, pushing and screaming, but nobody got out. That made the people already inside the train start praying to every God they knew to help them survive the imminent death by suffocation but there were also people who enjoyed the rains and laughed and joked around. I admired them.

              Finally, the train reached my stop, panting and huffing, and with a last prayer, i tried to get down. I didn't really have to make an effort, the others pushed me out.  Standing on the railway platform, i witnessed the train reluctantly start moving again. It still had miles to go. 'Dear train...you have my sympathies', i thought and exited the station.I saw people scrambling for autorickshaws or cabs or some form of metal vehicle that moves and would take him to their homes. I decided not to push my luck and walk my way home. I rewinded my entire journey in my head, smiled to myself and closed my umbrella. What was the point of holding it open. It really was raining cats and dogs in Mumbai or, like someone rightly said to me yesterday, it was raining hippos and rhinos! My umbrella couldn't stand the weight.

It's a Canon click!!

It's a Canon click!!

Its a Canon Click!

If only...

It was a rainy day...
You were standing on the sea wall at marine drive

watching the sea afar..

Your hands in your pocket, your windblown hair
falling casually on your forehead
you notice me looking at you instead of the sea
and with a smile you hold out your hand
I take it and i stand next to you
we both talk nothing...we didn't need to...

Today's a rainy day
I'm standing on the sea wall at marine drive...
living in the past
If only I could. 

It's a Canon Click!

Ooty! i miss you!

Death...and all his friends!

                I finally realized!...Death is in love with me....he asked me to go along with him but i obstinately refused. Since he loves me so much, he probably doesn't want to take me against my will and has let me live for a while. But Death...as crafty as he is, has sent his friends to keep an eye on me. Death's friends have taken their duty very seriously and have decided to be constantly around me no matter what.....some times loving me unconditionally...some times protecting me from harm....but most of the times making my life a living hell. These friends of his keep tabs on me. Where i go...what i do...am i happy?...am i sad?....they know everything.

             Yes! Death loves me! that must be the only reason why he has gone through the trouble of befriending all of my near and dear friends, my parents, my cousins and even my neighbour's dog! 

                   Now i see it!! now i see Death's diabolical plan. Now i know why he has sent these new friends of his to me........ Its because he knows.... that after being with them i'll go running to him saying "Death!!  Please take me with you! you are so much better than your friends!"

Dear you.......

            I saw you again. You were standing in the remote corner of the room, holding a glass of wine in your left hand. Your tall frame, dressed in black, attracting admiring glances from the women in the party. Ignoring them, you stood alone, aloof from the crowd that was partying and dancing to "burning love"....aloof....but those sharp eyes of yours taking in every detail. You have changed a little bit...and not changed at all. You still have that air of power around you that does not let you go unnoticed even in the most crowded of all places. From this far a distance, I could see your handsome face show a flicker of disinterest when someone walked up to you to start a conversation. That is so you. Yet you talk to them as if they were the only people in the room. Of course, they must not have noticed your disinterest in them. You mask it well. But i can see right through you. I always have.

           You kept glancing at my direction. Did you know I was standing there all along? I was hoping I had myself hidden well, in the crowd and the dim lights. I froze when i saw you walk towards me. So much for my grand plan of hiding in the dark. As you grew closer, I knew I had to leave. Leave this cursed party. Leave before i see you upclose. Leave before those memories start flowing in. Leave before I'm overwhelmed by remorse. Leave, before the reality hits me....that you are probably better off without me by your side.